I spent the weekend after my 35th week appointment with my midwife sitting on a yoga ball, doing cat-cows, strapping ice into my belly, and leaning over as much as possible. Since then, I have been seeing a chiropractor twice a week and got an amazing massage. We even bought a full-size ironing board so I could work on a Spinning Babies technique.
Nothing was working to get Baby 3 to turn head down. As I waited to pick L up from school that Monday, it got the hiccups and I was feeling them on my right side. Frustrating, but nothing new; it’s been laying transverse for weeks.
Then it decided to move.
Within 20 minutes, as we were driving from school to my next midwife appointment, Baby 3 shifted its head from my side — to right under my rib cage.
I held it together as the nurse took my vitals but as soon as my midwife walked in I broke down.
“It just moved from here,” I said through tears, pointing to my side, “to here” pointing to the top of my belly.
After a quick hug, she asked what I wanted to do. I had gone in wanting to ask a bunch of questions about an external cephalic version (ECV) but in that moment I didn’t care. I wanted the baby head down and felt scheduling one to avoid a possible c-section was my best option at the moment.
So I was put on the schedule for ECV and am going to the hospital for it this morning. My doula gave me some other exercises to do in the meantime. But I’m tired. When I’m not running errands, or getting L to and from school, or going to doctor and therapy appointments, I’m doing tricks to move this baby. I’m trying to wrap my head around a c-section. I feel like that’s how this baby will be born, but every time I think I can be at peace with that, I immediately begin crying because I’m not okay with it.
Those who have had c-sections tell me they aren’t that bad, especially if they’re scheduled. But that’s not super comforting either when you’re facing a type of birth you don’t want in the first place. One that no one would acknowledge could be a possibility during the last eight months but have mentioned it weekly for the last three weeks. And a c-section when you have doctor appointments and therapies and a child to be driven to and from school for another month after your husband goes back to work and you can’t drive? We don’t have time for that. I know this, but I don’t feel others fully understand what kind of help I will need if Baby 3 needs to be born via c-section.
Everyone keeps telling me to relax, that I still have time, but it’s hard. It’s hard to relax when your other kids need to be driven to school, and doctor’s appointments, and therapy appointments. It’s hard when you’re also working. It’s hard when you think the baby’s bum is is bottom up but its hiccups tell you otherwise. It’s hard when you want to feel like you need to do everything possible to turn your baby to avoid a situation that might affect your mental health even more once it’s born.